Rule 1 : Be solution focused!
Instead of being problem focused, which means putting all your effort into analyzing why a failure happened, you can channel all your creative energy into being solution focused. This means that you are centering your mind on finding different solutions to the problem(s) at hand. If you have read The Secret – the book about the laws of attraction – this solution focused can derive positive results because you are attracting positive energy instead of negative energy (problem focused).
Rule 2 : Keep in mind that you may have to try a few times before success happens
What if you fail more than once? What does that tell you? Did you really give it your best shot? Or are you only doing it half heartedly- not giving it your best effort. In which case, is it something that you really want, or is it something you’re doing for the sake of it. Ask yourself if there is something else that you would prefer. Or perhaps – you could look at it from another angle – it was never meant to be, but there will be a better option for you at a different time. Just not this time.
Rule 3 : Don’t blame everyone under the sun
When failure happens, most people try to find scapegoats to explain why they didn’t succeed. This may be damaging and may lead you nowhere. It may also lead you to gaining more enemies than friends. You can always blame someone else – but should you? Will you spend your energy on doing so? If you have done your best, then the control is beyond you. It is in the hands of God, the divine, it does not matter which religion you believe in. We often say that humans plan, but God decides. Try your best and don’t worry about what is beyond your control.
Rule 4 : Stop negative thinking
Anytime you feel you are in a downward spiral – you need to physically remind yourself to stop thinking negatively! Sometimes it helps to look at the mirror and tell the person staring at the mirror (YOU!) to just stop it and move on. Downward spirals can be very damaging, and the more you think negatively, the more you will be caught up in its toxic path, dragging you lower and lower until you cannot get up. So you need to clip negative thinking before it overtakes your life!
Rule 5 : Always have Plan B, Plan C, Plan D and more
Having worst-case scenarios can also cushion your fall. Instead of falling straight down, you can have backup plans. Some people don’t like having too many alternative plans – but some actually take comfort in having many different alternative plans so as not to be bogged down by an unsuccessful Plan A. The number of alternative plans is up to you as an individual. But make sure you don’t only have one grand plan and have left everything else up in the air.
Rule 6 : Whatever you do, don’t give up
There was a man who didn’t have arms and legs who was very inspiring because of his spirit. He told many people that it could be very easy to not get up because it was too difficult (for him it was almost impossible!) But his sheer determination got him up, when he exerted his super human effort to roll around to get up. It was just inspiring and unforgettable. For you who have complete arms and legs there is no reason for you not to get up when you fall. The difference was his determination to succeed. And that he did!
Rule 7 : Smile even when your heart is breaking
There is actually a song by Natalie Cole, with the lyrics, “smile even when your heart is breaking!” It seems funny you should do that when you feel like crying and want to be on your own. Try smiling and feel how that affects you. As they say laughter is the best medicine. I would say have the courage to laugh at your own mistakes, take charge and conquer!
Instead of being problem focused, which means putting all your effort into analyzing why a failure happened, you can channel all your creative energy into being solution focused. This means that you are centering your mind on finding different solutions to the problem(s) at hand. If you have read The Secret – the book about the laws of attraction – this solution focused can derive positive results because you are attracting positive energy instead of negative energy (problem focused).
Rule 2 : Keep in mind that you may have to try a few times before success happens
What if you fail more than once? What does that tell you? Did you really give it your best shot? Or are you only doing it half heartedly- not giving it your best effort. In which case, is it something that you really want, or is it something you’re doing for the sake of it. Ask yourself if there is something else that you would prefer. Or perhaps – you could look at it from another angle – it was never meant to be, but there will be a better option for you at a different time. Just not this time.
Rule 3 : Don’t blame everyone under the sun
When failure happens, most people try to find scapegoats to explain why they didn’t succeed. This may be damaging and may lead you nowhere. It may also lead you to gaining more enemies than friends. You can always blame someone else – but should you? Will you spend your energy on doing so? If you have done your best, then the control is beyond you. It is in the hands of God, the divine, it does not matter which religion you believe in. We often say that humans plan, but God decides. Try your best and don’t worry about what is beyond your control.
Rule 4 : Stop negative thinking
Anytime you feel you are in a downward spiral – you need to physically remind yourself to stop thinking negatively! Sometimes it helps to look at the mirror and tell the person staring at the mirror (YOU!) to just stop it and move on. Downward spirals can be very damaging, and the more you think negatively, the more you will be caught up in its toxic path, dragging you lower and lower until you cannot get up. So you need to clip negative thinking before it overtakes your life!
Rule 5 : Always have Plan B, Plan C, Plan D and more
Having worst-case scenarios can also cushion your fall. Instead of falling straight down, you can have backup plans. Some people don’t like having too many alternative plans – but some actually take comfort in having many different alternative plans so as not to be bogged down by an unsuccessful Plan A. The number of alternative plans is up to you as an individual. But make sure you don’t only have one grand plan and have left everything else up in the air.
Rule 6 : Whatever you do, don’t give up
There was a man who didn’t have arms and legs who was very inspiring because of his spirit. He told many people that it could be very easy to not get up because it was too difficult (for him it was almost impossible!) But his sheer determination got him up, when he exerted his super human effort to roll around to get up. It was just inspiring and unforgettable. For you who have complete arms and legs there is no reason for you not to get up when you fall. The difference was his determination to succeed. And that he did!
Rule 7 : Smile even when your heart is breaking
There is actually a song by Natalie Cole, with the lyrics, “smile even when your heart is breaking!” It seems funny you should do that when you feel like crying and want to be on your own. Try smiling and feel how that affects you. As they say laughter is the best medicine. I would say have the courage to laugh at your own mistakes, take charge and conquer!
You have to accept your failure, and when you're accepting, you will not resisting and you'll be more stable. It's great to accepting things, whether it is good or bad, you'll have a more and more compassionate heart and mind. But i know it is easy to say but hard to do, we always get angry when we're facing problems and failures
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